no matter what it is...

cordless drill

cell phone

gps

leaf blower

booster pac

wireless bluetooth keyboard

bluetooth headset

ipod

 ...it dies

but i'm happy that my new camera (canon rebel xsi) lasted 2 months before the battery needed recharging.

kitty kallen was a singer born in 1922.

she won a singing contest when she was young

and the prize was a camera

she brought it home and showed her dad

who didnt believe her

and thought she had stolen it

so she got punished

but when the neighbors came over

to congratulate her

he realized her story was true.

this is great!

im in  for sure!

 

for those of you that read my last blog

and only know me as a tuffy

then it wasnt me

it was an imposter

so that you can still fear me

in all of my tuffiness.

 

phew.

thought i might lost a few of you there for a minute...

 

the kalster.

my fear of the dentist makes me take ativan

my temper occasionally makes me take valium

but sublingual ativan kicks in faster

meaning less things get smashed

but after my last blog

i discovered something that works better

and allows me to be more productive

and has fewer side effects -

although i call those characteristics

its not a benzodiazepine

its a matt.

well - THE MATT.

cause theres only one.

and he makes me feel better.

and i like that a lot.

i feel anxiety every moment that i am awake lately

it is a feeling new to me

as anxiety just seems like such a uselss emotion

like worrying

it accomplishes nothing

it actually does the opposite

it prohibits you from accomplishing anything

i feel nauseous

i feel like crying

i feel like my head is going to explode in every direction

and my body (being headless) will collapse into a heap of exhaustion

i feel like so much of my energy is wasted

either into failed projects or missions

or misunderstandings

whatever energy i have left over

is often misdirected

into anger or sadness

i dont know where this new found feeling came from

if it was one specific event or everything just taking its toll

im trying to get out of it

or at least get something out of it

 

 

 

so i got a toothache on my birthday trip to edmonton.

saw the dentist when i came back.

got a few root canals.

and need more.

and fillings.

i never even had a toothache before that.

tonite i go back for more.

i hope thats the end.