i should back up my files, pictures, music, videos.
i have two hard drives that i entrust to keep my history safe.
but i know better.

its too bad relationships cant have backups.
safety nets for the times when things go to shit.
just reload to the last known good time.
or something.

no story books
no snacks with milk
just depression
loneliness
and a cat that wont stop meowing

matt and i are over.
this is not airing dirty laundry.
this is my filthy head.
getting rid of guilt that has no right to be there.
i love him to death.
but thats where we're heading if we stay together.
he says im cheap.
he resents me.
he says all he tries to do is make me happy.
he thinks everything he does is a favour to someone.
he is blind to how the world is.
i can not live with these ups and downs.
the finite infinites.
i give so much and more is taken.
and hes the victim.