nonono not cocaine cause theres no such thing as good coke - maybe high quality but it still makes you agro and then want some more...

 

its snowing!

not just pretend vancouver snow that is really just whiteish coloured slush either!

real snow!

like when your mustache freezes with little icicles dangling across your mouth like chisai's fangs

its the real snow that i remember as a child

frolicky and fluffy and fun

walking into a whitewall of wonder

making footprints on virgin earth

falling into banks

creating instant ergonomic chairs

and just taking a look around

cause its snowing!

 

i need to get caught up in my taxes (4 or 5 years i think). if anyone can gimme a hand that would be nice.

suzie did my hair the other night and i like it lots.

there was a time in my life when i really didnt like my mom. i thought she was a terrible mother. my sisters all argued and said she did the best she could but i guess i never really saw it. but now i have to say that my mom is pretty cool. shes on my messenger list and shes almost always online. shes there for me. she keeps me posted on whatever is going on with the rest of my gigantic family. she is a pretty cool lady. and i guess that all just occured to me now. i love you mom.

i got up sometime last night cause i started coughing again. becky gagve me some buckleys yesterday and it really worked but i looked all over the kitchen and the 2nd bedroom and i couldnt find it anywhere so  ithought she nmust have taken it home cause she needed it still so i went back to bed and tryd to zzzz the best that i could but it was prettyu miserable and then i woke this morning and dohdoh me - becky left me the medicine in the bathroom. thanks you becky.

i cant really get used to the fact that there are people that have known me for over ten years who have never seen me shed a tear until lately. its all i do. its become so common. nobody even questions it anymore. nobody really knows what to say. i dont either. its really not who i am. or who i was anyway. its not really who i want to become. but this sadness is just too much to keep in.

i love you maitai.

my mom is idle. that says a lot. she has lived in saskatchewan her entire life except for a few months in calgary when i was a baby.

davea is number 1 in the uk. and he is away. so i guess that means he cant even be home to celebrate. although there is nothing to celebrate at home so i suppose that he has to be away in order to celebrate the uk.

geoff is online. but  not home. hes not mobile. so now im confused.

le beast is away. ...shes also whats for dinner. but i just woke up so i dont care whats for dinner, i need some breakfast.

matt is away. and meh. so i guess he doesnt care that he is away. but hes not at my place so where the hell is he? i care. what is the opposite of meh anyway? A'HEM!!!

shane murphy is away. but he probably isnt. he's pretty good at replying in a moments notice and is a way nicer guy than i thought so i guess ill have to go and erase all those memos in the public loos and take back my warnings i have handed out to so many.

voitek is mobile/online. but he never answers no matter what his status is. so meh to him.

thats all.

im still sick so im gonna go back to bed now.

another year,

how about a recap

even though i would rather an icecap

ive learned that no matter how important the things you are currently doing in your own life there are two things that wont wait for you - weddings and funerals.

i would like to say that i have learned to become a little more responsible with money

but my bank account would probably argue with that.

ive learned that although baking soda might have over 500 uses - it cant be used for everything.

although my mom has been saying it my entire life i still have not learned to control the tone of my voice.

i have learned that backups should be checked before originals are deleted.

i have had multiple guns pointed at me because icbc is retarded

i have been told that my bark is enough to never have to bite.

i started the year with the same van that ended it

but somehow managed to make it better than before thanks to people that have proven to be great friends.

and unfortunately, i ended the year knowing what its like to lose someone very very close to me.

its not a feeling i wish upon anyone - my one and only miss maitai passed away in december.

 

 

 

been having crazy dreams. i guess thats what happens when you zzzzz for 72 hours. im so achey & dizzy & tired. i dont like this none at all. everyhting hurts. im going back to bed.

goodnight.

i am sore all over.cant type more.it hurtstoomuch.

mom says you can get more flies with honey...

...i say a combination of raid and flytape works best.

 

but then i was thinking about it -

 who wants flies anyway?

ive got drapes up in my room now. dark heavy denim drapes.

they block out the light and the sound from the noisy street below.

and i zzzzz way too much now.