kuf

got there just as day broke

parked okee and played by the river

went back to okee to get garbage bags for the fuckers that broke a bunch of bottles

and discovered someone had thrown a rock through one of okee's windows

not to break in or steal anything

just pure raw vandalism

wow

thanks fuckheads.

so my kayak is still leaking.

did i mention the warranty ran out a week ago?

tried soapy water in a bottle

and on a sponge.

tried immersing it in a lake.

so i got my seam ripper out and removed the air chamber from the outer boat body.

tried soapy water in a bottle again,

and on a sponge again.

so i asked all my friends that have pools if i could immerse it -

and got avoided ever since.

that feels real nice.

so i bought a pool - filled it up.

immersed kayak.

no bubbles.

but still losing air somehow.

maybe its lead air that doesnt make bubbles.

now air chamber has water inside.

thats neat.

now i have a kayak i cant use and a pool i dont want.

this summer is gonna be great.

matt has been spinning records for 6 months now and i must say that i like the soundtrack that comes with my life.

di has been working for me since march and i've heard that im a nicer person because of it (although i personally dont understand how i could have possibly become any nicer) but it has been good having a few days off a week.

ive taken my kayak out twice so far this year but the inner chamber has a leak that is impossible to find (therefore hard to fix).

chisai has been sick this month. barfing all over the place. i took her to the vet and they gave me some meds that make her not barf and the side effects are that shes a cuddlemonster. but still, i would rather she not be sick.

okee is doing alright but lots of little annoying things are fucking up. the skull stickers on my headlights came off. my suicide knob was loose and i bought a new one that needs modding before i can put it on so steering is weird lately.

its summer time. parties are starting. i like the water. yippee.

 

FYI: i did not make this up. but i do feel the need to spread the word of the gospel. enjoy.

 

History Lesson:
The name for the seat (or seats) adjacent to that of the driver comes to us from the American "old"/"wild" west. Aside from a railroad ticket, Stagecoach was the only means of transport during this period. Stagecoaches were also a common means of transporting things of value (eg... payroll money, high ticket merchandise). In this period of lawlessness and hostile (with every right) natives, protection was necessary. Admittedly most people back then were packing some heat, but for added safety, a stagecoach would always have an extra man. He would sit right next to the driver and was armed with a shotgun. This was known as riding shotgun; hence we have “shotgun” to call the front seat of a vehicle.

Rules so far:

1. The shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in sight of the car
2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey you are automatically given shotgun. You retain this position for the entire journey, unless you violate rules 12, 17, 23 or any other rules stipulating the loss of shotgun.
3. You cannot declare shotgun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.
4. When simultaneous shotgun is called, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from all the people who called.
5. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless you are in a multi-storey or underground car park!)
6. Shotgun cannot be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey.
7. Once shotgun has been called the driver has the option of a reload. The driver yells “reload” and this means that all previous calls of shotgun are void and the first person to call shotgun again gets the seat. This is helpful if the driver really doesn’t like the person who first called shotgun. It is often used when there is a simultaneous call and the driver is unsure of the outcome. Note that a shotgun has only 2 barrels so a reload can only be called once.
8. Ja rob rule...if he’s in the car shotgun now means back left, so he cant punch you every time a yellow car goes past.
9. Once shotgun has been called for the front seat then back left and back right can be called. This effectively leaves the slowest person to travel in the middle (of the “bitch” seat).
10. Because everyone is created equal, men have the same right to the front seat of the car as women (ie women don't own the front seat!).
11. If the regular driver of the vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given shotgun.
12. Once the journey has begun, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if they feel the road requires their full attention, or they simply cannot be arsed any more, duty is passed to the shotgunner. However putting on crap tunes or allowing for silence when the iPod finishes a song or ANY instances of TAKE THAT will result in demotion to bitch seat.
13. Anyone calling shotgun must have his or her shoes on. This is to stop people running outside and calling shotgun, then having to go back inside to put their shoes on and slowing the journey. This is known as the Shoe Rule.
14. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsies and other girly calls!
15. Despite the debate, shotgun CAN be used to shotgun things other than the front seat (eg back left, back right, women, not going to answer the door, etc).
16. When travelling with a couple, one of the couple MUST shotgun the front. No one wants to chauffer two of their mates whilst they are in the back all over each other.
17. If someone has successfully called shotgun, they have the right to the front seat. They do not have the right to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving"). If the passenger does this, then they forfeit their position as shotgun holder.
18. If someone says, "what’s shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk.
19. If the shotgunner attempts to open the door just as the driver is unlocking it and jams the lock half open so that the driver needs to lock it and unlock it again, the shotgunner forfeits their position. This is known as shotgun suicide.
20. The holder of shotgun assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off license nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is in essence the copilot and therefore the enforcer of behavior in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/water spraying/bag throwing at the passengers in the back.
21. Automatic "couple's rights act 1997". This law states that, if the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, this person has the right to the seat of their choice.
22. If one of the potential occupants of the vehicle is dressed (convincingly) as a pirate then they are given automatic shotgun. In the event of more than one pirate being present, a sword fight shall determine the successful shotgunner. This is known as The Pirate Rule.
23. When driving past a woman walking a dog, everyone in the car must shout out the window, "who's walking who?” It is the shotgunner’s responsibility and failure to spot potential heckling, results in demotion to the bitch seat!
24. When riding in a 2 or 3 door car, it is the responsibility of the shotgunner to allow rear passengers in and out of the back of the car, NOT THE DRIVERS!! Regardless of the weather conditions.
25. Obviously the previous rule on the subject didn’t clarify things completely with everyone coming up with a new rule that over rules shotgun. NOTHING overrules shotgun. Shotgun is final and cannot be overruled!!!!
26. It is the successful shotgunners responsibility to be on the look out for any police and/or speed cameras. if the shotgunner doesn't spot a speed camera and this results in a speeding ticket it is immediately their fault and not the drivers.

A - Age: 31
B - Bed size: Double
C - Chore you hate: Laundry
D - Dog's name: chisai the cat (good dog, good dog)
E - Essential start your day item: ice caps. damn you timmy's
F - Favorite color(s): black, green, pink, denim, and white (but im too dirty to wear white)
G - Gold or Silver: preferably white gold, platinum, or silver
H - Height: 170cm
I - Instruments you play: power tools
J - Job title: ceo aka boss lady
K - Kids: 0
L – Love: Matt
M - Music taste: jungle, johnny cash, oldies,
N - Nicknames: THE KALSTER and dont you forget it!
O - Overnight hospital stay other than your birth: ya as a kid
P - Pet Peeve: dumb
Q - Quote from a movie: "its sticky so it sticks to my panties"
R - Right or left handed: Right
S - Siblings: three sisters, two step-sisters, three step-brothers, three brother-in-laws, three step-sister-in-laws and i think thats it.
T - Time you wake up: 1600

U - Underwear: is necessary especially for girls in miniskirts that want to sit in my van!
V - Vegetable you dislike: Brussel sprouts, parsnips
W - Workout style: dancing and working on my van or sleeping
X - X-rays you've had: teeth, eye socket/ cheek
Y - Yesterday's best moment: finding garbage can i have wanted for a long time at canadian tire
Z - Zoo favorite: i guess i was born too late - but it would have been ota benga (the congalese pygmy)

im growing sunflowers from seeds so i can plant them in ugly places outside

i like smoothies chunky and i burnt out my new magic bullet blender in a month

chisai barfed up a hairball - which shes never done before - so i bought the furminator and i love it and so does she.

full moon parties have started.

beach parties are soon to follow.

 

 

if you dont want to be tailgated...

leave your left turn signal on.

its spring!

cherry blossoms!

pigs on bikes!

chirp chirp chirpie birdies!

wittle twiny cutsie baby animals!

half pants! and singlets!

camping and kayaking!

yippee yippee yippee

new things that excite me (and maybe you?)

 

i should have done this years ago... but someone else beat me to it. oh well - enjoy!

this all just seems so pointless

i learned something new today

rather interesting as well

steam can burn your house down

at least thats what my smoke detector decided

in the middle of my steamy hot shower

 

i guess i have to eat my words about all those esl kids

not knowing how to boil water

maybe thats all they know

im makin muffins!

i bought new seat covers about a month ago

but when i went to put them on

i noticed how rotten the old man balls fabric in the original seats had become

so i started to remove the rotten stuff

and ended up with a bare bones skeleton of a seat

then i gathered up all my foam, fabric, fasteners & friends

 - well - one friend -

and today i got to sit in a fully custom and brand new seat

that i really didnt end up putting much of my own effort into

they look great -

and now okee is one step closer to being finished.

i had a great day off this month.

aside from my failed attempts to find a garbage can.

i took some pix

and hung out with matt

went dancing at automatic's 10 year anniversary at the lotus

and other stuff

that i cant remember

cause im zzzz now

wow. ive been collecting money for a long time.

but i just got a bill from the cdn-money community

so i thought i would track it.

its been  1,594 days since i made an entry

and 1,403 days since i entered a hit.

guess some of my hobbies have shifted a little...

this year is crazy

january seems like so long ago already

i guess cause it sort of is

i had house guests for over a week -

and i liked it.

i went snowshoeing lots

but not enough.

i like cypress

i hate seymour

but i love grouse.

ive been getting used to taking good pictures again

with my new canon

and ebaying is fun

for new camera accessories

ive been downsizing

filling up my freebies box daily

people like that

ive been getting dental work done every monday night

and taking less ativan every time.

i got my eyes checked

but that wasnt really worth mentioning.

i just thought of it - thats all.

a good friend of mine moved to italy today

for either six months or not

i go dancing every sunday night

to drum n bass

otherwise i would be agro

... ok - more agro

than i am already

i cant wait til summer

although i have been trying to enjoy every day for what it is

even if i zzzz right through it.

 

 

 

 

 

no matter what it is...

cordless drill

cell phone

gps

leaf blower

booster pac

wireless bluetooth keyboard

bluetooth headset

ipod

 ...it dies

but i'm happy that my new camera (canon rebel xsi) lasted 2 months before the battery needed recharging.

kitty kallen was a singer born in 1922.

she won a singing contest when she was young

and the prize was a camera

she brought it home and showed her dad

who didnt believe her

and thought she had stolen it

so she got punished

but when the neighbors came over

to congratulate her

he realized her story was true.

this is great!

im in  for sure!

 

for those of you that read my last blog

and only know me as a tuffy

then it wasnt me

it was an imposter

so that you can still fear me

in all of my tuffiness.

 

phew.

thought i might lost a few of you there for a minute...

 

the kalster.

my fear of the dentist makes me take ativan

my temper occasionally makes me take valium

but sublingual ativan kicks in faster

meaning less things get smashed

but after my last blog

i discovered something that works better

and allows me to be more productive

and has fewer side effects -

although i call those characteristics

its not a benzodiazepine

its a matt.

well - THE MATT.

cause theres only one.

and he makes me feel better.

and i like that a lot.

i feel anxiety every moment that i am awake lately

it is a feeling new to me

as anxiety just seems like such a uselss emotion

like worrying

it accomplishes nothing

it actually does the opposite

it prohibits you from accomplishing anything

i feel nauseous

i feel like crying

i feel like my head is going to explode in every direction

and my body (being headless) will collapse into a heap of exhaustion

i feel like so much of my energy is wasted

either into failed projects or missions

or misunderstandings

whatever energy i have left over

is often misdirected

into anger or sadness

i dont know where this new found feeling came from

if it was one specific event or everything just taking its toll

im trying to get out of it

or at least get something out of it

 

 

 

so i got a toothache on my birthday trip to edmonton.

saw the dentist when i came back.

got a few root canals.

and need more.

and fillings.

i never even had a toothache before that.

tonite i go back for more.

i hope thats the end.

 

 

 

this is fun...

look up these words and you will gain a little more empathy for all those ESL kids: